The time apart did us a world of good, and on our phone dates, we actually talked to each other instead of yelling. It was a welcome change from the stress our marriage had become. I realized how much I loved him while he was away. Ever since he came back, we've become a little closer.
"Helena? Do you want some help getting dressed?"
Dustin stands behind me and kisses my neck, running his hands under my shirt flirtatiously. He kisses me and I kiss him back, even though I'm not in the mood for this.
"Dustin. I changed my mind. I don't want to go."
"What? Why not? It'll be fun, there'll be dinner and some drinks, plus you get to see if Max wins an award."
"No. I'm just going to watch it on television. You can go with them. I don't want to get all dressed up anyway."
Dustin rests his hands on my hips and looks at me. He doesn't say anything, but he doesn't look upset either. I stare at him quietly, observing the color of his eyes and the curve of his nose.
"You really don't want to go?"
"No."
"Okay, I'm not going to force you to do something you don't want to do. You want to fool around with me before I go? I have some time."
Ever since that night that I wrongly seduced Dustin with an ulterior motive, he doesn't trust me if I initiate any kind of sexual activity. He also locked the condoms away so I can't sabotage them. I just wait until he asks and then I tell him yes or no. It may seem methodical, but I am okay with it. I nod at him, and smile. He takes my shirt off and unhooks my bra, followed by his shirt. I'm not comfortable having sex in any other position than laying down, so when Dustin picks me up, puts my legs around his waist, and carries me over to the wall, I tap him on the chest lightly and shake my head.
"What? You want to stop?"
"No, I don't want to do this standing up. Can we go to the bed?"
Dustin continues carrying me, out of the closet and into the bedroom. He deposits me on the bed and strips off the rest of our clothing. I find it kind of hot when he's in control. We've been having sex more often since he came back, and I think it's helping our relationship. I smile and kiss Dustin as he crawls on top of me. After our romantic activities, I hug him close to me before he leaves for the Emmys.
"Thank you Dustin, for not making me go with you."
"You're welcome. I wish you'd come, but I don't want you to have a miserable night, so if you'd be happier at home, that's fine. I have to get ready though. Do you want to hang out with me while I do that?"
"Yes."
I follow Dustin into the closet and sit on the stool next to the mirror while he fixes his hair and gets dressed.
"Red? Or blue? I wore purple last time."
"Mmm, red."
"Dustin, you look so happy."
"Yeah, I am happy for Max. His show is doing really well."
"You're not happy because you get to party all night long without me?"
Dustin looks at me as he puts his shirt on. He hasn't buttoned it yet, and I like that. He walks over and stands near me. His happy demeanor disappears, and he places his hand on his hip as his smile fades.
"Don't do that. Don't start accusing me of enjoying my job more than you. I already asked you to come, and you said you didn't want to, so I'm respecting that. I just need you to respect me enough to know that I'm going to this ceremony because I was invited, and because I'm supporting Max, not because I want to party and forget about you. I'm tired of telling you that all the time."
Dustin finishes putting the rest of his outfit on and walks past me, grabbing the door handle.
"Dustin, wait. Kiss?"
"What? You're going to stay in the closet all night? Come out to the living room."
I kiss Dustin goodbye and sit on the couch in front of the tv with my head in my hands. I feel sad because we were having a good night, and I had to go and ruin it by asking him one of my guilt-riddled questions. Now he's probably going to enjoy the attention of other women just to spite me. I need a friend, someone who understands me, the part of me no one else has in common with me. Robert.
Robert comes over and although the television is on, we spend most of the time chatting about church and the picnic in the park that the church is doing for the university students this weekend. At some point during the night, we end up sitting really close to each other. I don't know what happened, but I kissed him on the cheek. What are you doing, Helena? You love Dustin. Robert looked at me, saying nothing, and I kissed him again, on the lips. He got up off the couch and glared at me.
"What are you doing? I thought we were just friends. Helena, you're married. Marriage is sacred. You know that. I'm going home now."
I've just made my way in the front door when Helena's friend Robert runs into me with his hand covering his face. He looks really embarrassed and ashamed about something.
"Dustin, I'm so sorry. I won't be hanging out with Helena anymore. I thought she just wanted to be friends. Please forgive me."
Robert leaves my house and drives away while his words linger in my ears. He's so sorry about something and won't be hanging out with Helena anymore. I can only assume some sort of cheating happened tonight and my blood boils with anger at Helena. I can't see straight as I walk over towards her. Before I can get to her, she runs over to me and stands in front of the picture I took for her while I was in France. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I felt the sincerity of Robert's words.
"Helena. Would you care to tell me why Robert said these words to me? 'Dustin, I'm so sorry. I won't be hanging out with Helena anymore. I thought she just wanted to be friends. Please forgive me.'"
Helena looks down at the floor and brushes some dust off her pants, staying as quiet as a mouse.
"How was the ceremony? Have fun without your ball and chain weighing you down?"
I am not surprised when Helena skirts the question entirely. I suddenly feel like the biggest idiot in the world for thinking things were going better for us.
"I'm not falling for that crap anymore. You aren't going to make me feel guilty tonight. Answer my question. Why did Robert apologize to me? I have no problem with you being friends with him, but casually hanging out with your friend shouldn't lead to your friend looking ashamed, and feeling the need to apologize to your husband."
"I don't know why he would say that. Did you have fun at your party without me?"
"Again with that?! It sounds like you forgot about me, not the other way around. Answer my fucking question, Helena."
"Dustin, you're scaring me. Don't hurt me."
"Don't be ridiculous, I'd never lay a hand on you. Just answer me!"
"No."
"WHY the fuck not?!"
"Because I kissed Robert!! On the lips! Okay?! Are you happy now?!"
I had suspected something of the sort, after what Robert said, but I wanted to hear it from Helena, rather than just assuming.
"What? No I'm not happy! Why would I be happy?!"
"I answered your question."
She's staring at me like she doesn't even know that her actions impacted our marriage. I get even more pissed off when she doesn't even look like she's sorry. Am I really that crappy of a person that she has to run around behind my back? I need to lay down. I stomp away to the bedroom and hang my hands over the side of the bed, flicking the comforter in anger. The next thing I know, Helena is there crying and making excuses.
"Dustin, I am so sorry, I don't know what was wrong with me! I was just caught up in the moment! I love you! Please don't hate me!"
I ignore her, unable to believe what she just said to me. She got caught up in the moment? What the fuck, there shouldn't be any moments to be caught up in, she's married to me. There should only be moments with me.
"Dustin? Are you going to talk to me? I said I was sorry."
Helena sits on the bed with me, and I don't like it. I don't even like it that she's in the same room as me right now because I am so mad at her. She reaches for me, and I jump off the bed.
"Don't touch me, Helena! How could you do this to me?! You like hurting me?! Is that it?! Do you actually enjoy hurting me?!!"
"No! Of course not. I don't like hurting you. I don't know, I just- I-"
"JUST WHAT, Helena?!"
"I don't know what I want anymore."
She doesn't know what she wants. Great. I just want a normal wife who doesn't ridicule me at every turn, a wife who doesn't get pissed off at me when I breathe wrong, but no, she doesn't know what she wants. Clearly, she doesn't want me, so I don't even want to continue this conversation. It's pointless.
"Helena, get out of my bedroom."
"It's our bedroom."
"Really?! Really?! You want to share a bed with me?! That's funny, maybe you should tell your LIPS that because they seem to be wandering at the moment!"
I go over to the dresser so I can put on a pair of sweatpants and go to sleep, while Helena makes no movement to get off the bed, MY bed. Suddenly I feel a tugging on my pant leg.
"Dustin, please, I don't want you to be angry at me."
"YEAH?! You should have thought of that before you went around kissing your guy friends."
"What are you going to do?"
"Um, change, and then sleep. Why do you care?"
I don't even care to hear her whimpering response to me. I don't want to accept her apology tonight, and I'm not sure if I can or want to forgive her. Ever.
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whoa! i so wasn't expect that. lateknightsimmer you truly know how to make people's emotions go on a roller coaster. first you make us believe they were going to get better and than bam! you make her kiss another dude. i don't think my emotions can take much more of this roller coaster.
ReplyDelete=) I don't like stories where everything always goes according to plan. That's not how life works. The roller coaster feeling is more what I think life feels like, so I love writing like that. I feel like it's more interesting that way.
DeleteOMG!! Where did that come from???!!! Even though I think she is better suited with Robert - I never saw that coming - not Helena!! Helena cheating - after all the stick she gave Max, Soliel and has been giving Dustin. She doesn't even seem sorry either!!
ReplyDeleteIt came from the corners of my mind. LOL. I like keeping people on the edge of their seat and throwing a curve ball their way. Life is unexpected, and so are people, even if society labels them a certain way. Just like Max and Soleil are "labelled" as players, and Helena is labelled as a religious good person, people are all flawed, and no one acts perfectly all the time. I don't think she feels sorry, but she'll probably feel guilty at some point. =)
DeleteHelena I totally understand as in my younger years I used to be like her. Overbearing and accusation al but I never cheated. However it was a only a kiss even that is no excuse. They can work through this but they need counselling. Her option of herself is so low that she can't see she has a great husband who loves her.
ReplyDeleteShe needs to make an effect and go to these parties with him because he would love showing his wife off as he is proud of her but at this stage she can't see that.
Dustin is rightly mad but must insist they see someone and move forward if she had slept with Robert this would be a totally different comment.
Well, they definitely need counseling, they're clearly not fixing things successfully together just on their own. Helena had plenty of time to decide to go support Dustin by going to the parties, but she only went to one and is not willing to change her behavior. If Robert hadn't left and went home, the night would have gone way differently.
DeleteI wonder why it never crossed neither Max´, nor Soleil´s, nor Dustin´s mind that Helena badly needs to see a shrink... as, very obviously, she is not really functional, unhappy about it and hast not been getting any better for YEARS...
ReplyDeleteAnd I wonder why - I - have not said anything like that, neither *lol*
They never suggested for her to see a shrink because I do not have plans to make Helena and Dustin's story line wrapped up in a tiny little box that ends perfectly. LOL. *evil grin* Besides, you know Helena, she'd probably get angry they even thought of such a thing, and refuse to do it anyway. XD
DeleteSo, all jokes aside...there is something seriously wrong with her. She is self sabotaging and I think, zoning out a little bit. She doesn't seem to be herself right after she does or says some of these awful things.
ReplyDeleteIf I was Dustin, I would be so very careful. Not because I think Helena would hurt him, but she may hurt herself. She seems deeply unhappy and I think she's looking for a way out. I'm thinking depression maybe.
You might be on the right track. =D
DeleteShe does tend to space out and become strange when she feels bad for saying mean things. Unfortunately when she spaces out, she makes things worse for everyone. She has never had a high opinion of herself, and all the things she's tried to use to find happiness have pretty much failed, so yeah, it'd be fair to say she's depressed.
Great chapter! :D I feel bad for Dustin; he's such a nice guy and he just keeps on giving Helena extra chances but she just takes advantage of him :( I kinda hope Dustin finds some super awesome girl for himself lol
ReplyDeleteHaha, yes, Dustin needs a better girl, LOL, one who will appreciate him for who he is. Thanks! =) Helena keeps taking him for granted... it's definitely that "don't know what you've got till it's gone" syndrome.
DeleteHelena is seriously fucked up. She makes no sense, like, ever, and she's such an idiot. Why the hell would she kiss Robert when Dustin is there for her, she's just too stupid to notice. I don't get her.. I'm angered beyond belief that she kissed someone else other than Dustin when he's done nothing to deserve it. Its so weird of her, too, to do something like that when she believes in marriage so much.
ReplyDelete*rips out hair*
She drives me insaaneee
Yes, her actions are irrational and make no sense. Helena was holding the idea of marriage on a pedestal. She thought when she got married that everything would be perfect.. She was too stupid to realize that everything in life has a bad side, including marriage. Helena thinks that her unhappiness stems from Dustin, which it doesn't, as you know, it comes from her attitude towards him. She thought that Robert would understand her, but Robert actually believes in marriage more than she does, given how he reacted to her behavior.
DeleteJeese Helena. WTF!!!!
ReplyDeleteDamn! I'm all caught up. :P
DeleteI was all excited to see what St. Dustin does. He's been trying so hard to make everything work, and she's not really trying at all.
LOL. Nice job catching up! =P
DeleteTheir marriage is so fucked up right now. What am I saying? It's always been fucked up, LOL, the way it's been all take and no give. Dustin was nice to give her many chances, but now she's going around acting exactly how she doesn't want anyone else to act... her hypocritical side is showing for sure. Oh the irony that is Helena. ROFL. =)
Hiya - Do you know where you got Max's hair from - Ive got it on one of my sims n tumblr and someone has asked me where i got the hair from and i can't remember - i dont suppose you can point me in the direction of the creator could you?!
ReplyDeleteHi Julie. I do remember. It's from Garden of Shadows, but for now their server is down. Spectre That's the link to the hair, but it's doing a page not found at the moment. I went to their tumblr page, Garden of Shadows where they explained the technical difficulties they're having.
DeleteHelena is a fudging idiot. Dustin deserves better than her; she gets all upset if he signs some chick an autograph and doesn't forgive him for a long timeand she expects him to be okay and forgive and forget when she's kissing another guy. Sorry....I want Dustin and Helena both to be happy and she won't allow it.
ReplyDeleteGreat chapter. :)
Thank you. =) You hit the nail on the head, Helena is a fucking idiot. But we all knew that already. LOL. She is a total hypocrite, kissing someone else when she flips out over Dustin appreciating a fan. It's tiring for everyone when she makes everything about her all the time.
DeleteHelena won't take ownership that the first red carpet night was her disaster and she herself started the marriage problems. Very very self centered person. Was she hoping to have an accidental pregnancy with Robert so she had a baby? I bet so. Dustin needs to leave her, never forgive her, she's a poison that is killing his spirit. I love that last picture of Dustin in the set where Helena's friend apologizes.... perfect. :)
ReplyDeleteHelena is so stupid, and self absorbed that she refuses to see that she is the cause of her own problems. LOL, I wasn't planning on having her and Robert sleep together, although I could see Helena thinking those thoughts if they had. I love that expression on Dustin's face too, when he made it, I was like, wow that is the perfect face. =D
DeleteUgh Helena. What is wrong with you woman. You have the perfect man and look how you treat him. Their relationship is so not normal....he has to hide the condoms so she wont poke holes in them? Seesh, talk about a lack of trust in that relationship.
ReplyDeleteLOL right? She's seriously fucked up. Dustin has to resort to fucking retarded measures because Helena won't just be normal. The last thing he wants is to be stuck with a kid in a messed up household because she sabotaged things. You know she'd do it too. Trust? What's that? Neither of them trust the other, the only difference is that Dustin has given Helena no reason not to trust him. That stunt she pulled the night she seduced him really opened his eyes and he wasn't about to fall for something like that again.
DeleteShe definitely has some issues. The staring off makes me suspect she definitely has some MAJOR issues. How does she not "feel" these things? It's kind of like she's got another personality or major depression or something. Woah!
ReplyDeleteHelena always, always turns things around and tries to make them about her. She wants everyone to do the 'woe is me' feeling for her, like she wants them to pity her. She kept avoiding the question because she didn't want to admit she was wrong. Depression, yes, she is deeply unhappy because she's not getting what she wants but she is too dense to figure out that she is the one making herself unhappy. If she would just support Dustin, love him like a wife should, he would have no problems doing the baby thing with her. She just can't see it because she's caught up in her pity party in her own head.
DeleteOMG! I knew she'd do something to sabotage their happiness as she seems incapable of just being happy, but I never thought she'd actually cheat on someone! She needs serious help, rehab of some kind, but I wonder if it's too late for her and Dustin? Or is this the straw that broke the camels back?
ReplyDeleteLOL! She doesn't even know what she's doing anymore, but one thing is for sure, she is delusional. Seeing what she sees as right, even though everyone else sees it as wrong, she somehow feels justified just because she apologized. She doesn't even see how much she's hurt Dustin over the years, and this was just the thing to make the ever patient Dustin super pissed off. Through her low self-esteem, she's making Dustin's self-esteem go down too because he doesn't understand why she can't be happy with him. :(
DeleteInteresting. I was a little concerned when Helena had met Robert for coffee in an earlier chapter and he took her hand. I thought he might've been the one to start something with her, although being a religious guy, it didn't seem as likely. I certainly didn't expect Helena to up and kiss Robert -- especially since she had just had sex with Dustin before he left that night. She is one messed up chick.
ReplyDeleteHaha, yeah, the hand squeezing Robert did, from Robert's point of view, was completely innocent. Robert is a prime example of a church-goer who is normal and tries to abide by the morals that he believes in, whereas Helena is the church-goer who takes everything to the extreme and tries to manipulate situations, then uses religion to justify it. That's why Robert's alarms went up, and he immediately left. Helena thought that finding solace in Robert would make her happy, but she failed to realize that Robert is a good man who would never help someone cheat.
DeleteOh man! I knew she had a thing for Robert lol...Helena definitely does seem confused with her life and what she wants. Robert actually surprised me, I thought he would kiss her back but he didn't *thumbs up* :) Dustin's words were perfect, something is wrong with Helena and when she got on the floor holding on to his legs that was just priceless lol ....I actually thought things would get
ReplyDeleteBetter for them but of course she messed it up as usual.
LOL! Does she have a thing for Robert, or does she just think she does because she's never happy with what she has? Who's to say that if she did run away with Robert she would be happy? She might start picking Robert apart and noticing his flaws. You are right she is confused.
DeleteRobert is the example of what a church guy should be, someone who actually walks the walk, instead of just talking the talk. He does not condone cheating, and he stood up for his beliefs. Helena on the other hand, claims to be religious, but she doesn't walk the walk. She just imposes herself and her beliefs on other people to make her feel better about herself.
LOL, when I found that pose of her hanging onto Dustin's leg, I was like dude, that would be perfect for Helena. XD Aww, I'm glad you were holding out for some hope between these guys, but yeah, Helena's personality just screams "I fuck shit up" LOL.
This was amusing.
ReplyDeleteHelena seems bipolar, or slightly psychopathic. She shows no remorse, and we can never trust her emotions nor her sincerity, can we? The scene with her crawling at Dustin's feet is pitiful and a bit ridiculous even. Was she pretending?
I knew Robert would be back, but he is nicer than I thought, and honest to his principles. The scene of their kiss was a bit rushed, in my opinion, so that we actually don't see what led to it.
But Helena is a great character, and I'm glad the plot has picked on her!
LOL that's good you found it amusing. :) I like when I can entertain my readers. XD
DeleteYes! You can't trust Helena. Exactly. I'm glad you got that. LOL. Helena manipulates things to her advantage. Her and Dustin's marriage wasn't exactly the "head over heels I'm falling in love with you" type of marriage, which exist in real life. She is pitiful and ridiculous, LOL, she wanted to be married so bad that she married the first boy who asked her. But she was very immature about her entire marriage and she didn't want to work on it, now she is desperate.
Robert is a true religious person, and he doesn't just say he believes in something without practicing it. What led to the kiss was really just that, actually, I wanted it to be rushed. Helena and Robert were watching the awards together and Helena made a move on Robert. I wanted it to be out of the blue, awkward, and I wanted it to catch people off guard. Nothing led to it other than Helena being ridiculous. LOL.
*scream* I'm SO mad at Helena right now! cmsjkdvbnibhu I don't even have words to explain it. Ugh How could she do that?! I just knew it was going to happen when she had drinks with Robert, although I must say, I'm very happy about his response. Good for you, Robert. But Dustin...*sobs* He does so much for Helena and she's completely blind to it. He's always there for her and yet she turns to some other man who is not her husband. Unbelievable. If things don't work out for these two, I'll offer to comfort Dustin. No nagging and complete support and love, all included. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteLOL. She deserves to be yelled at, and slapped repeatedly.
DeleteRobert is a good religious guy, an actual religious guy, who practices what he preaches. He really was just there to be Helena's friend, and earlier when he touched her hand at the coffee shop, it was in a platonic way, when he was reassuring her he would pray for her. I didn't make that obvious in that chapter because I wanted it to be ambiguous. I wanted to reveal Robert's true character in this chapter instead. XD
Dustin appreciates you wanting to comfort him because yeah, he's had it now. Helena wanting to turn to another guy, then telling him she doesn't know what she wants, after everything he's done for her, he's so done.
really!!! really!!! That's it. If he doesn't leave now....just no! I'd leave the house, she could keep it. I would not be staying under the same roof.
ReplyDeleteKudos to Robert for putting a stop to it and getting out of there!!!
Well, he did say something about "I don't want to accept her apology," so that's probably a good sign that he's had it with her.
DeleteRobert is a good guy, he actually knows what marriage is, and he respects it. He was fine that Helena wanted to be his friend, but the second Helena tried to use him to cheat on Dustin, he was appalled, and he really needed to leave.
Helena Really! You accuse your husband of cheating on you and you turn around and do it to him! And after all that talk about church and being faithful. My blood is boiling right now. Helena is lucky he just kicked her out of the bedroom he should have kicked out of the house without a penny.
ReplyDeleteDustin I have one word of advice for you, DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL yup really. Did you expect anything less from Helena? XD She is the world's biggest hypocrite, and that showed very obviously in this chapter. Even Robert doesn't think she's a good person. It's one thing to preach religion, it's an entirely different thing to practice it. Robert practices it, which is why he told Dustin, declined Helena, and left their house, which is more than can be said for Helena. She is lucky, kind of... but not really because this is it, Dustin is pissed off beyond repair, and the fact that he said at the end that he didn't give a shit what her apology was says a lot.
Delete