Maximus Twenty-Two: Time Apart

"All right, well, I'm ready to go."

"Dustin, I'm going to miss you. You look so good today. How long are you going to be gone? What am I going to do without you?"

Helena puts her hands on my chest and looks down, sad that I'm leaving for a month to film a movie in Paris. I had only been taking jobs in town for many years, but with our constant fighting, when my agent said I had an opportunity to try out for a supporting role in a film that was mostly going to be filmed in France, I jumped at the chance. I'm tired of Helena's manipulative ways, and I've learned to look for an ulterior motive when she is nice to me. I know that sounds terrible, that I can't just see her being nice to me for what it is, but ever since that night where she seduced me to try to get her way, I've been more wary of her.

"I'm going to be gone for a month. You remember the time zone difference, and our phone schedule? I will call you every day so we can talk, okay?"

"Yeah, I put it on the fridge. Dustin, I'm sorry. I guess this no baby thing is driving me more nuts than I expected."

"It's okay. You can call Soleil whenever you need a friend to talk to. I asked Max and her to keep in touch with you too to make sure you're all right while I'm gone."

"You did? Thanks so much, Dustin."

"Well, you're my wife. I love you and I want you to be okay."

"I love you too. Have a good time. Take some pictures of the Eiffel Tower for me?"

"Sure."

I kiss Helena goodbye and get into the limo that's waiting out front.

---

I watch Dustin leave, and I really hope that he has a good trip. I think the time apart will do us some good. I already feel bad for treating him so cruelly that night. When he told me we had to postpone what I wanted, I just saw red, and was so mad at him. I equated it with him not loving me, but the way he was so nice this morning, making sure everything here was going to be good for me while he was gone, especially after how I treated him, made me realize he never stopped loving me.

I'm in a better mood now so I pull out my phone and dial Soleil's number. I hope she's available because I really want a friend to talk to.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Soleil. I was wondering if you were free and wanted to maybe have a girl's day?"

"Yeah, I'm not busy, what did you have in mind?"

"Do you want to hang out here, maybe watch a movie, chit chat?"

"Sure, I'll be over in a bit."

Soleil comes over looking gorgeous as usual. I wonder if she has to do that to keep up appearances so she doesn't get put in a tabloid magazine as looking unkempt.

"Soleil, you're so pretty. I want to look like that."

"Thanks, Helena. Umm... I'm hardly dressed up today though, this is like a really old cotton shirt, and I just rolled up my hair in a hair tie."

"I know, but you still look so cute. Do you have to dress like that?"

"What do you mean have to dress like that?"

"Well I mean like, is Hollywood telling you how to dress?"

"Oh, that. Haha, no. Sometimes when I go to work, I just wear sweats and a sports bra because I will be wearing different clothes once I'm there. I just like looking put together on my days off."

"Can you um, maybe help me with my wardrobe? I know I haven't been the nicest to you whenever you brought up the subject in college, but I wonder, um, is that part of why you're so confident all the time?"

"Probably. I  feel good about myself, and so then I'm happy. I can help you, how do you want to start?"

"Well, I thought maybe looking through my clothes and seeing what I want to keep and what I want to change. I don't really want to throw everything out, that seems a bit extreme."

Soleil smiles at me and we go into my closet, where she starts looking through my clothes. I feel so plain and a bit embarrassed when I see her examining some of the pieces. She doesn't make fun of anything that she looks at, and I'm in awe of how nice she is to me despite everything I've done to her. I suddenly feel very guilty for all of it.

"Am I a hopeless cause, Soleil?"

"No, you need a little help, but it's not hopeless. You have a lot of over sized sweatpants, Helena. That's not good."

"They're so comfortable though."

"So are the sweatpants that are your size. I mean, I told you I wear sweats sometimes, but I never buy mens' sweatpants. I'd suggest throwing those out and getting some girl sweats. They look better and they're still comfortable."

Soleil pulls out one of my suits that I wear to church and I get a little annoyed. I really like those suits and I think they look fine. I hope she doesn't tell me to throw those out.

"What's up with this, Helena? It's like an eighty year old woman's suit."

"What do you mean? Why?"

"Well, the cut of it, it's so blah. The color too, it's like the same fabric as an ugly couch. You say you like that I look cute even when I'm wearing an old cotton shirt, and it's because of the way it's cut. It flares out and gets tighter where it should. It flatters a woman's body rather than hiding it."

"I'm not as pretty as you, Soleil."

Soleil comes over to me and makes me stand in front of my mirror.

"Helena, you need to stop saying that, it'll help with your confidence if you quit telling yourself you're not as good as me. Besides, who says you need to compare yourself to me anyway? You're your own person."

"I look like a shadow when I'm next to you."

"So what do you want to do about it?"

"Help me dress nice for dinner?"

"Are you going somewhere?"

"No, will you and Max come for dinner? I want to look nice for it, like you. I want to go shopping for some new clothes."

"Yeah we can do that."

After we come back from shopping, Soleil helps me make some grilled cheese sandwiches. She gets a phone call in the middle of it, and it turns out it's Max wondering where she was cause she wasn't at home. Max arrives pretty much right on time, as we get done with the sandwiches. He compliments my outfit and thanks me for inviting him for dinner. I observe him looking at Soleil during dinner and wish Dustin and I could be as in love as Max and Soleil are.

"So, sis, how are you holding up with Dustin being gone?"

"I'm all right. I miss him, even though he's only been gone since this morning. We're going to have a phone date everyday and I'm excited to hear his voice."

"That's good. Did you have fun with Soleil?"

"Yeah. She helped me pick out some new clothes because I wanted to dress nicer, like she does."

"That's cool. It looks good. You look good. It's definitely better than those man pants you wear all the time."

"Ha-ha, little brother."

"How was work, babe?"

"Pretty fun. Solving crime with the police department, you know? The usual. I have a script to read for the next episode."

I'm watching Max and Soleil interact, with disbelief that my little brother, the biggest player in high school, has so much love in his eyes towards one woman. I also find it interesting that Soleil doesn't have more questions for Max about his day, does she not have a single jealous bone in her body?

"How do you guys do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make your relationship look so easy? Like, how do you not worry what the other one is doing especially since you both have jobs where you have to sometimes kiss other people? I mean, Soleil's billboard? How does that not make you crazy, Max?"

"Confidence is the main thing. Trust is the other part. You're religious, so I'm going to equate it to faith. I have faith in Soleil, and in our relationship."

"Listening is another thing that's important. When Max tells me something or asks me something, I don't interrupt, and I listen to what he's actually saying rather than just hearing him talk."

"Umm, you guys, I'm sorry for how I acted at the birthday party. I was really mad at Dustin, but I shouldn't have brought our problems to Patrick's party."

Max looks stunned, probably since I apologized, which I don't do very often, but then smiles at me before taking another bite of his sandwich.

"Thanks, Helena. How are you and Dustin, anyway? You still love him, right?"

"Yeah. I just let my anger lead my behavior. You know how I still want a baby, but he wants to postpone it. I talked about it with you at the party."

"Helena, you need to accept him for who he is. He's a great guy, he's hard working, he's kind, he's done so much for you. If you support him, especially at the red carpet events, you'll shine too. Don't worry so much about fading away in the shadows. Who cares if the emcee doesn't talk to you, you are with Dustin, the emcee isn't important, you know? You'll be on Dustin's arm, and when he's in the spotlight, it'll shine on you too. Once you start doing that, he'll stop hesitating to have a baby with you."

After dinner, the three of us go and enjoy the hot tub that's out in the backyard. I remember in the early days of my marriage when Dustin and I would come out here and make out for hours into the night. When I see Max put his arm around Soleil, it reminds me of that even more.

As I watch them together, I wonder why they're not married. They'd make a perfect married couple, and I can't understand why they wouldn't want to take the next step in their relationship. I feel like they're just settling and their relationship is stagnant. It's so weird though because they seem so happy together. I don't understand why they don't want to better themselves.

"Why aren't you guys married? You act like you're so in love, why not just make it official?"

"What are you talking about? It's already official, she's my girlfriend, exclusively, and has been pretty much since forever."

"Well, yeah, so why not get the rings and paper saying that? Don't you want to prove that to the world? I mean what if someone hits on you because they don't see a ring on your finger?"

"Jesus, Helena, way to ruin a good night. You know I was actually having fun hanging out with you tonight? I don't have to prove anything to anyone. Soleil's the only thing that matters in the love department, and if she knows that, what others think don't matter. If someone hits on me, then I just tell them I'm not available, it's not that hard."

After some more chit-chat, Max and Soleil go home together, arms around each other as they walk out the front door. I'm left with my thoughts, which is never a good thing. I look at the clock, and it's almost time for my phone date with Dustin. I'm excited to hear his voice, and wonder why I don't treat him well when he's here, but miss him like crazy when he's gone. Maybe for me, absence really does make the heart grow fonder.