Maximus Twenty-One: Nostalgic Memories

Soleil's Vogue cover hit the newsstands in early fall. In the short interview with her, they asked her questions about her work and family life. I was on my way to pick up a birthday cake for Patrick, and picked up an issue of Soleil's magazine as well as the cake. Driving back home, I happened to see the billboard with Soleil's perfume ad towering above the city. I was really proud of her and how far she had come. There was something surreal about seeing my girlfriend being larger than life. This must be what Soleil feels when she sees me on a movie screen.

I turned onto my street, and pulled into the driveway. Dustin's car was there, and so was my dad's. My house was kind of crowded from all the people who were there. Patrick was excited that I was back. I set the Vogue magazine on the counter and brought the cake over to Soleil.

She gave me a kiss. taking the cake from me. She got out a lighter to get it ready so Patrick could blow out the candles. We all sang happy birthday to him and gave him presents. As I looked at everyone who was there celebrating, I felt pretty satisfied with my life.

I got a little nostalgic too, remembering how I'd met everyone and the part they played in helping me with things in my life. Dad, who taught me martial arts, helped me move to this town, was there for Soleil through her pregnancy, and always babysat Patrick for us.

Dustin, my best friend, who helped me out in the early days of my acting career, and got me the connections I needed to be as successful as I am today. Helena, my sister, whom I've had the rockiest relationship with, always being on my case about things. In a wierd way, Helena's made me realize how lucky I am to have Soleil because of the way she treats Dustin.

Last but not least, my beautiful girlfriend, Soleil. We've been through a lot, mostly from other people thinking we were bad for each other, but it's helped us build up a lot of trust over the years. Words can't even express how much I love her. My mom was right that one day I would find someone whom I'd never love as much as I love them. I know Soleil is that someone. She comes up to me and smiles, interlocking her fingers with mine, and squeezing my hand.

"What are you thinking about, Max?"

"Everything. How much I love you, and how everyone who's been there for me is now here for Patrick."

"Awww, baby, I love you too."

I feel kind of bad for Dustin since he and Helena seem to be avoiding each other. Earlier it looked like he was annoyed, and has since made his way over to Dad and Patrick, while she's standing by herself at the counter. I hear a loud sigh coming from the kitchen, knowing that it's Helena. I give Soleil a kiss on the cheek and lean against the counter, while Soleil goes over to socialize with everyone else.

"Helena. What's going on, sis?"

"Hey. I'm happy for Patrick."

"Thanks. Did you tell him that?"

"No. He doesn't want to talk to me, but I thought you should know, as his father, that I'm not sulking because I'm unhappy about Patrick."

I'm a little confused why Helena thinks Patrick doesn't want to talk to her, but I'm guessing it's just her being Helena, so I drop the subject.

"All right, well, why are you sulking? Did you fight with Dustin again?"

"Yeah. He started dressing like you, ripped jeans and a really low cut tshirt."

"Uhh, I don't know how to respond to that."

"I just wanted him to start dressing more like a grownup. He's not a little boy anymore. I don't really think ripped jeans is appropriate for someone our age."

"Jeez, Helena, chill out. It's a party for family members, as long as he's not streaking, whatever he wears is fine."

"Max, you were always way more easygoing than me."

"Is him wearing clothes you don't like the real reason you're being anti-social? That seems kind of petty, don't you think?"

I notice her flipping through Soleil's Vogue magazine, and wonder if that has anything to do with it, or maybe if she saw Soleil's billboard.

"No... Dustin and I fight a lot. He's not okay with the having a baby thing anymore because he says we fight too much and we need to straighten ourselves out before bringing a child into our house. I think he's just stalling because he wants to avoid the responsibility."

"Umm, Helena, the first time you asked him he was fine with it, but then you made it clear you aren't happy with him. Maybe you need to show him you support him and love him, then he'll be okay with the baby thing. Do you really want a baby growing up seeing their parents fighting all the time?"

"The baby will make us stop fighting and keep us together. It worked for you and Soleil."

Did she seriously say what I think she said? That's absurd. I rub the bridge of my nose and close my eyes. Helena is such a headache to talk to most of the time. I have to set her straight about this, though. I'm not about to let her keep thinking that I only stayed with Soleil because of Patrick. How could she even think that?

"Helena, we didn't have Patrick to 'keep us together.' We would have stayed together even if he hadn't come along."

"Oh, so Patrick was an accident? You didn't really want him, you just wanted Soleil?"

"Helena, why do you always have to be like this? Why do you always have to cause drama? I love my family, no matter how they came to be with me. I'm grateful for what I have, which is more than I can say for you right now."

Helena looks shocked for a second from my jab and then a smug look comes over her face, making me start to wonder if she actually enjoys making me mad. I decide I need Soleil because I know she'll make me feel better. I don't want to take her away from socializing with everyone though since this is Patrick's party, so I just resign myself to hanging out on the deck. Maybe if I can get some fresh air, and mostly get away from Helena, I can calm down.

It's not long before I hear a door slam and yelling down below. Apparently Helena is still not happy with Dustin for whatever reason. I feel bad for Dustin, but I know you can't help who you love, and there was no way I was going to meddle in other people's love lives. All I can do is just be there for him when he needs me. I notice that Helena didn't talk to Soleil at all the entire party, and I hope that she's got a friend to talk to, just like Dustin has me to talk to.

"DUSTIN?!"

"What do you want me to do, Helena?! Strip these pants off in public?! Will that make me look DECENT enough for you?!"

"Oh, Dustin, don't be so dramatic, just dress like the thirty year old man that you ARE!!"

I hear Dustin and Helena yelling at each other, and I can't figure out why she keeps getting on his case about his jeans. He told me they were a freebie that one of the designer companies gave him after his movie. Dustin gets in the car and slams the door. Helena gets in and Dustin peels the car out of the driveway, probably getting into trouble for "driving like a teenager."

I watch Dustin drive away, and feel someone come up behind me. I have no doubt it's Soleil because her citrus perfume is a dead giveaway. She puts her hand on my abs and leans into my neck.

"Mmm... you smell yummy. Max, are you okay? I noticed you left the party earlier."

"Not really. Lay down with me."

"What? Here on the deck?"

"Yeah."

Soleil takes my hand and we walk over to a bigger part of the deck and lay down. She looks into my eyes, searching for an answer to why I'm not okay, either that or she's just enjoying staring at my face. Either way, I'm just glad she's here with me.

"What's the matter, handsome?"

"Do you think I'm a good father?"

"Yeah, of course! You always jumped at the opportunity to take care of Patrick whenever I was at work, and you're good at not spoiling him, yet being attentive to his needs."

"Helena said I only stayed with you because you got pregnant. Then she said I didn't really want Patrick, either. It made me really angry. I always wanted you, and when Patrick came, I loved him just as much."

"Aww, baby, I know that. Did Helena make you doubt things?"

"No, she made me feel like everything I've done to change how I acted in high school went unnoticed. I just didn't want you to think that I was faking it or something."

"Shh. I notice, and that's what important. I love that you moved here to be close to me, and that you asked me to move in with you. I love that you've been faithful to me all these years, and that you've always stayed with me, even when life threw us curve balls. I know that you love Patrick and I know that you love me. You don't ever have to worry about whether I know that, okay, baby?"

"Okay. Thank you, Soleil, I love you."

"I love you too, Max."

---

"Dammit, Dustin Xavier. Talk to me."

"I don't have anything to say to you, Helena, nothing that doesn't involve for the millionth time that my sense of fashion is fine."

I fumble with the keys on my key chain, trying to find the house key, while Helena keeps yelling at me from behind, making it really difficult for me to put the key in the lock.

When I finally get the door unlocked, I made a beeline for the fridge to get myself a beer. I needed to de-stress, even if it means Helena getting on my case for drinking.

Just as I suspected, Helena's shrill voice rings through my ears as she starts yelling at me again.

"Dustin! You really think you can drink our problems away? You're so irresponsible!"

It's going to be the same argument, she'll tell me that I shouldn't drink because it's an unhealthy way to deal with my problems. I'll tell her that I'm not drinking because I want to avoid our problems, I just want to have an alcoholic beverage. She'll ask why I can't just drink a coffee or a tea, and I'll tell her beer is fun. Then she'll tell me that I am not doing any good by finding fun in the bottom of a beer bottle. I'm not an alcoholic, I usually just have one beer and go to bed. Lately it helps me sleep.

I watch Helena as she screams at me, remembering a time when her intense blue eyes used to look at me with love, rather than the burning irritation she seems to be carrying for me these days. Things haven't been the same since I told her we shouldn't have a baby until her and I can learn to respect and stop trying to change each other. We need to find the love we had for each other before I can even think about raising a child. That's another one of our classic arguments, she disagrees with me because she thinks having a child will fix our problems and the love we had will magically come back. I know life doesn't work that way, and when the parents fight, it affects the child negatively. I really feel like a child should grow up in a house full of love, like Patrick did with Max and Soleil.

"Dustin?! Are you even listening to me? I don't want you to turn into an alcoholic! Just get a coffee."

"No."

I answer her simply because there's no point in going over the same bullshit over again. I walk into the living area and sit on the couch. If I'm going to continue to be yelled at I might as well be comfortable.

"Dustin?! Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you!"

Helena comes over and continues her tirade with my so-called ridiculous behavior. She stands in front of me and glares at me with her hands on her hips.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Um, I'm going to have this beer and I'm going to bed."

"I'm throwing those pants out after you change out of them."

"Why? I like them."

"They make you look like a teenager. You should dress in business clothes."

"I'm not a businessman, I don't need business clothes."

Helena taps her foot and rolls her eyes at me. I continue drinking my beer and lounging. Maybe tonight I should try a different approach. I really hate fighting with my wife, I love her, but she always picks on me. Ever since I told her I am not quitting my job, she's been ridiculing my clothes and behavior.

"Helena, sit with me. I don't want to fight with you."

"You know the key to stopping the fighting. Have a baby with me. It will fix us."

"Do you know how much stress a baby adds to a couple? Do you really think that adding more stress to our marriage is going to help us? I don't."

Helena remains quiet at her end of the couch and I'm almost down to the bottom of my beer bottle. I finish the rest of it and head to the kitchen to rinse it out so it's clean for recycling.

"Dustin, wait."

I turn around and look at Helena blankly.

"Come back and hold me by the fireplace. I don't want to fight with you either."

I set the bottle down by the fireplace and Helena lights the fire. Then she surprises me by sitting on my lap. I look into her eyes and the irritation that was in them earlier has subsided.

"What happened to us, Helena? I miss things the way they were."

"Shh. It's not the time for talking. Let's just be together."

Helena runs her fingers through my hair and I can't remember the last time she's done that. We've been fighting so much that we don't go to bed at the same time anymore, and any time we're awake, she's picking on me, so I haven't felt the urge to hug her. Now that she's actually being nice to me, I put my arms around her and rub her back.

"Helena, you're beautiful when you smile. You should smile more."

Helena lays me down on the rug and starts kissing my neck and face. I envision our honeymoon and how much fun we had in our hotel room. I don't know why she keeps avoiding my mouth, but I don't think too much about it, just enjoying the fact that Helena isn't yelling at me. She strips my shirt off and runs her fingers down my chest. When she starts undoing my pants, I realize I should go get a condom if we're going to continue.

"Helena? I need to go get the stuff."

"What?! No. A baby will fix our problems."

"Helena. Get off me. I will not be coerced into having a child because you were nice to me for five seconds."

When Helena gets up, her eyes have resumed their cold demeanor. My heart hurts a lot when I realize that is exactly what she was doing, trying to get my guard down so I'd give her what she wanted. I feel a little used even though sex between a husband and wife should be a normal activity. I also realize that is why she didn't kiss me on the lips at all, she was just trying to turn me on enough that I couldn't say no. I get a little upset that she thinks I was that stupid. She stands up and smirks at me.

"Well, I think you're the first man in the world who has ever turned down sex. Don't they say men think about sex every few seconds? Hmm, must not be the case for you."

I glare at Helena as she walks away, not understanding why she has to be so cruel to me all the time. Maybe I am too nice. Maybe I need to leave her. She obviously doesn't give a shit about me.