Saturday, October 24, 2015

Armand Ten: Facing Consequences

Author's Note: So... it's been so long since I updated that I had gotten all the pictures for this chapter before I realized that Desiree was wearing something completely different last chapter... and this one is supposed to be a continuation of the last one. I had thought about retaking all the pictures with Desiree's correct outfit on, but since it's already been so long since this story has been updated, I am going to just leave her with the clothes she has. I doubt if anyone reading actually cares that much about her outfit, LOL, so yeah... but I felt like I should say something anyway. ^_^



Leaving the comic book store had not been easy for me, even though to Armand, it probably looked like it was. I silently chastised myself for always giving into the person who had text messaged me and called me, all in a matter of five minutes. I could feel that normal pang of guilt that always coursed through my bloodstream every time I gave in to his demands, but today there was something else too, a small feeling of disappointment. I hadn't wanted to leave Armand, but yet I had. For once in my life, I had met someone whom I thought might be a good friend to me, and I couldn't even work up the courage to make up an excuse to stay longer with him. The way Armand had smiled at me, and gently placed his hand on my arm when I became defensive made me feel warm inside. Normally, when I get defensive, it usually turns the conversation sour, and whomever I'm talking to no longer wants to talk to me. I know my social awkwardness is a barrier for me when it comes to making friends, but I am glad that I still tried with Armand. After I bumped into him so inappropriately, I was mortified, and I panicked, thinking that he would just be so upset with me. I can't believe I basically just rubbed my butt up against him. My cheeks turned warm, and I knew my face was red from blushing at the very thought. I find him attractive, especially the way his light blue eyes radiate, almost like they're neon lights on a street. He probably doesn't think the same of me, though, and I don't know why he would, I'm so plain, and he's so... not. He's completely out of my league, but I am so happy that he could be a potential friend.


I felt pretty embarrassed when he had to save me from that bully, and I had never met a guy who was so skilled in the art of chivalry in these modern times. The way Armand addressed me when he didn't yet know my first name made my heart melt into a giant puddle. Miss Butchet. I was glad I was already seated when he said that because knowing my clumsy nature, I probably would have literally fallen over from the sound of his voice being so kind. I'm not proud to say it, but I have been very sheltered and have been taught to have a very narrow minded view of the world. Even though I'm eighteen now, in a lot of ways, I still feel like a little child. My parents are very strict, my father, more than my mother, but she goes along with his rules, often times enforcing them on me because he told her to. My father is very much in charge of our family, and that is a fact. When Father says jump, the correct response is how high. If that's not the response he receives, there is a guaranteed punishment that awaits, and I don't just mean a simple grounding or a time out, punishments are serious. My father used to be the headmaster of a Catholic school, and he would occasionally hit me on the wrist with a ruler, which is what I would have preferred to be my punishment all the time. I wasn't so lucky though because a belt to the back was what I would also be punished with. He's conditioned me to be fearful, timid, and I am very certain that's also how my social awkwardness developed.


I don't really know how to talk to people, or rather, what to talk to them about because I haven't experienced a lot of normal things in life. I rebelled a little in my early teen years, and that's when the belt lashings occurred. I had tried dating a boy in my school who was very nice, but my father didn't approve of us doing teenage things like going to the movies, making out, and going to parties. I had come home one night from a party, after my boyfriend had walked me home to make sure I was safe, but he had no idea what he was getting himself into. My father had stormed down the front steps and shoved my boyfriend so hard he bruised his arm on the sidewalk, telling him to never step foot on this property ever again. I had to sleep on my stomach all night because my back and sides were so sore from the wounds inflicted by the belt. The next morning when I went to school, I knew my relationship was over because my boyfriend ignored me when he saw me, walking quickly away from me if he caught a glimpse of me. I can't say I blamed him for doing that, considering how my father had manhandled him. Who wants to date the girl with the father who seems like he's crazy? After that relationship failed, I just resigned myself to the fact that I was probably going to end up alone forever because I wasn't worth fighting for, and my father wasn't going to let up any time soon.


As I approach my house, I notice the porch light is on, and I can see my father pacing in the front hallway. I can't tell if he does what he does out of love, or if he secretly hates me deep down inside his heart. I don't know why he has to be so strict, other than his Catholic upbringing, which he has enforced on our family. He's now a priest at the church, after he quit the headmaster job. When I get to the front door, I stop momentarily, very sure that I don't want to go inside, yet knowing full well that I must. I turn the knob and push the door open, looking at the floor as I do because I can't bear to see the disappointment, anger, and twisted features that I just know are on my father's face.


"Desiree Irene Butchet, I am severely unhappy with you in this moment. When you didn't answer my texts, I was worried you had been involved in some unsavory activities. I was relieved that you answered the phone call, however."

"Father, I was just talking to a new friend, and I lost track of time. I was having a good time with him, and I didn't want to leave just yet."


"HIM?! Desiree, what have I told you about hanging out with the opposite sex when it gets dark?! Do you want to be in danger?! I can't believe you are always this stupid!"

"He's not a dangerous person! He was just talking to me."

"Where were you?"

"I was at... at the comic book store."


I cringed after saying this because something else my father doesn't approve of just as much as me hanging around with boys is me being an art major. He hates that I use spray paint, which is the "medium of the heathens," and he wishes I was studying to be in a service career. My father rubbed the bridge of his nose like he was incredibly irritated with what I had just said, and just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, my cheek stung from his hand making contact with it.


"OW!!"

"Why do you continue to defy me, Desiree? Haven't I told you the comic book store is not a good place for you to go?! I have already let you study art as you wish, so must you hang out there? That's where all the heathens go, with their skateboards and tattooed bodies. It's unclean, Desiree."

I sighed in my head when my father mentioned 'heathens' and 'tattooed bodies.' If what I was starting to feel towards Armand was truly real, I could never bring him home to my parents and have them approve... all because he had tattoos on his arms. He was so nice though, but I had only talked to him twice, maybe I was jumping the gun in thinking I had feelings for him. I figured it was safe to say I at least had a small crush on him.


"Desiree? Have you even heard a word I've said? I swear, your attention span is worse than that of your mother's."

"Yes, Father I heard you. You don't want me to go to the comic book store because it's not good for my soul."


My father looked surprised that I had grasped what he was telling me. I of course, didn't agree with him, I enjoyed the comic book store because I felt like it was the one place where I didn't feel judged. People of all kinds hung out there, and as much as I hated to say it, sometimes it was a gathering spot for the socially awkward, which meant I fit in quite well.


"All right, you're home now and you're not hurt, so run along until your mother has dinner ready."

My father went into his office, and I headed to the kitchen, where I found my mother running around the room cooking. She looked like she had been transported into modern times from the 1950s, with her perfectly ironed dress and apron. I don't know why she bought into Father's view of women, which was the typical cook and clean for the husband attitude. I doubted that she actually enjoyed being his doormat, but like me, she was probably afraid of him and openly telling him off was not an option either one of us wanted to pursue. I found small ways to rebel against my father, but in the end, they didn't do much. I hoped someday I would be able to at least find my own husband and leave the life my father had created for me. Maybe if I was married, my father would be less controlling over where I was and who I was with. I sighed to myself, wishing I didn't have that thought... I didn't need to be married to be a functional woman. Just because my father was archaic didn't mean I had to be.


"Desiree, darling, how are you?"

"I'm fine, Mother. Do you need any help?"

"Oh no, I'm doing quite well. I wouldn't mind if I had some company though. Your father is ever so busy to spend time with little old me while I'm preparing dinner."

My mother's speech patterns were endearing, even though I found her odd sometimes when she spoke that way. I didn't know much about how she grew up, but I imagined her being from a very proper family with the way she carried herself. Both sets of my grandparents hadn't been around much, and I think both of them had already died... or was it that they moved away, honestly I didn't know. I hung out next to the kitchen island while Mother cooked.


"So, dear, how was your day? Anything exciting happen at school?"

"I had class as normal, and I went to the comic book store. I was there when Father called."

"The comic book store? Oh, Desiree, I'm sorry if your father yelled at you for that again."

"He did, and thank you for the sympathy."

"Honestly, dearie, I don't know why you like that place, but I'm not going to be so crass as to tell you where you should or shouldn't hang out, as long as you don't get yourself into a pickle while you're there."

"Thank you, Mom."


Mom put a mixing bowl on the counter in front of me and lovingly touched my cheek, looking at me with concern in her eyes. She was a strange woman, but I knew she loved me. Suddenly, after she finished touching my cheek, she got a glazed over look in her eyes, and then she stepped back.

"Oh, Desiree. Something sinister happened on campus, didn't it?"


I sighed and tried not to roll my eyes at her. I knew what she was doing and I wasn't sure I bought it, but wierdly, parts of it were sometimes true. My mom claimed that she could see visions, or get a 'sense' of something just from touching a person. She would say that she got visions about the person's environment, or what they had been through that day. She kept this part of herself hidden from Father because he would no doubt disapprove and call it the devil's work. She shared some of it with me, but she knew I didn't believe her fully, as much as she tried to convince me.

"Yes, a student died. A sorority girl. Reese Coorlee."

My mother got a glint in her eyes that I couldn't quite place, but it looked a little bit like happiness, which was disconcerting, considering I had just told her someone's life had ended.


"Was this the same girl who was bullying you the other day?"

"Yeah... why?"

There it was! That glint again! My mother smirked a little bit as she picked up the mixing bowl and continued to cook.

"Why? Well. just curious of course, darling. I like to know what is going on in my baby's life. I think that girl got what was coming to her."

"Got what was coming to her? What are you talking about, Mom? She died of an eating disorder."

"Oh, honey... no she didn't..."


"Mom? Did you do something? Did you poison her?"

"Of course not, dear. I couldn't have gone into the campus undetected. I don't look like a college student. I have much more effective means other than poison."

Oh no... not this again. In addition to my mother thinking she had visions of things, and attempting to tell me my fortune on numerous occasions, she also claimed she could cast spells on people without even being near them. I don't know why she had been so adamant about believing that stuff, but it was something that she was hooked on.

"So you're saying you used witchcraft to kill her because she bullied me? Mom... that's not possible. Witchcraft isn't real. Also, you can't just kill people because they are mean to me."


"Oh darling! Witchcraft is real. Just because you don't believe in something doesn't make it cease to exist. I cast a spell on that girl, Reese Coorlee."

"Ugh, Mom. She died because she had an eating disorder. When she bullied me she was making fun of my weight, so she clearly had body image issues. It makes sense."

"You keep telling yourself that, dear, but I know the truth, and one day you will see it too. Anyway, the food is ready, will you do your mother a favor, and retrieve the rest of the family for dinner?"


I nodded, shaking my head as I got off the bar stool and went down the hallway towards my father's office. I loved my mother, but sometimes she sounded downright insane. I really wondered what went through that head of hers. Maybe too many years spent being married to an overbearing Catholic priest had caused her mind to snap.

Hello Everyone

Hi Guys,

I know it's been ages since my last update, but I'm still alive and still writing. My focus has been off of Echoes for a while, and it's just one of those things I find that I naturally do sometimes, but it doesn't mean this story is dead or anything like that.

I've been doing some Halloween prompts on Tumblr and writing a bachelor challenge on Wordpress. Since people have submitted their Sims to me for the bachelor challenge, I've been trying to update that one relatively quickly because I know people want to see their Sims in action. As of now, I'm down to seven contestants from the original eleven who started, and it's been a crazy ride. It should come as no shock to you that I didn't do a typical bachelor challenge, LOL, since I don't really do anything 'typically' and the contestants scores are all over the board.

Anyway, I am going to try to find some time to get the pictures for this next Echoes chapter which has already been written for months now, so that I can publish the darn thing! o.O

Thanks for being patient and sticking with me. :D Love you all!

Oh, and if you want to check out either the Halloween prompts on Tumblr, or my bachelor challenge, I've linked both below.

Halloween Photo Challenge 2015

The Proposal Bachelor Challenge

Love,
LateKnight

Monday, June 29, 2015

Armand Nine: Awkward Circumstances

News of a death on campus was definitely an alarming feeling, although because it wasn't due to a crazy shooter or anything like that, the campus wasn't on high alert, for which I was thankful. I had chosen to attend the memorial for Reese, and even though she wasn't exactly my friend, I had known her. It made me sad that her life had ended so early because she was the same age as me and I felt like I still had so much to experience. Even though she had been such a bitch to Desiree the other day, I certainly didn't think she deserved to die. It was kind of scary, knowing that anyone's life could end that abruptly, even when they were so young. Reese's memorial made me think about my own mortality, and how I really should appreciate my life because it could end at any time. The short lecture about eating disorders was enlightening as well, since I had never known anyone who suffered from them, and I learned something new when the speaker said that the disorders plague men too, even though society tends to paint eating disorders as a 'women's only' problem.


At the memorial, I was reminded again of my mother, who shared a similarity to Reese in how she died. Even though she didn't have an eating disorder, my mother did bring her death upon herself when she chose to drink and drive. It didn't surprise me that I still thought about her occasionally, but I was very grateful that the memories never lingered for very long, like they used to. I no longer got overwhelming feelings about her, and I definitely didn't drive myself crazy with self-loathing thoughts anymore. Ephemera and Dad had been keeping in touch with me despite their busy work schedules, and often times I would get a short text or email from one of them letting me know they were thinking about me. It was sweet, and I enjoyed the sentiment. I had noticed in some of the emails that Dad referred to Ephemera as Mom, and she had even signed one of hers with 'Love, Mom.' I remember it bringing a tear to my eye because I did like the fact that Ephemera felt much more like a motherly figure to me than my real mother, and I didn't mind in the slightest that she had been given that title.


This particular afternoon, I had just finished my last class of the day and I was walking to the comic book store to look at some of the drawing styles within the different comics. They inspired me with some of my assignments, both in ideas for what to draw, as well as drawing technique. I loved the comic book store, and even though I didn't consider myself a geek by the standard definition of the word, I didn't mind the environment the store provided. It was whimsical with its bright colors and interesting layout, which seemed to be a mish-mash of a bunch of different things on the surface, but when put together in one store became a cohesive collection of items. Large cardboard cutouts were placed all around the store, usually at each entrance, almost to mimic a superhero of some kind welcoming you into the doorways. I always felt at ease here, like I could completely be myself, and I really enjoyed that feeling, especially since I had felt so deprived of it in my childhood and teenage years.


The comic book store wasn't too crowded today, which I enjoyed. It was hard to browse the shelves for books when you constantly had to be worrying about trying not to step in front of someone, or accidentally elbowing them in the face as you pulled a book off the shelf. I was mindful of the other person in the aisle with me, of course, since I could sense that they were standing a little bit off to my left. I had just picked a comic off the shelf when the person bumped into me rather roughly, causing me to lose my balance and drop the book on the floor.


"HEY! Watch it!"

I felt anger rise up in my body because I was in defense mode for how hard the person had collided with me, and it almost felt like they had done it on purpose. I didn't know who would want to hit me that hard, considering I didn't really have any enemies or anything like that, but when I turned around to see who it was, my anger quickly dissipated. It was Desiree, and I suddenly felt like a complete asshole for yelling so loudly.


"I am so, so, sorry, Armand. I am a total klutz, and I don't have very good judgment of people's personal space. When I tried to get a closer look at this shelf, I was oblivious how far I had bent down. Again, I am so sorry."

"Aww, it's okay, it was an accident. I just yelled because it didn't feel like an accident when it happened, it felt like I had been run into with bad intentions."


Desiree smiled awkwardly at me, and I could tell she was still completely embarrassed by the manner with which she had bumped into me. Spotting the coffee counter behind her, I got an idea of something I could do that might make her feel more at ease. I clearly wasn't bothered as much as she was that our butts had touched. It had been an obvious accident, and it wasn't like Desiree had assaulted me or anything.

"How about we start with a clean slate? Do you like coffee? I can buy us some and we can hang out a little bit."


The expression on Desiree's face was not one I expected to see. Usually when I offered to get a girl a drink, she was more than happy to accept my offer. Desiree, however, looked pained, and I wondered if she was still just traumatized from our earlier encounter, or if she thought I was being an asshole and hitting on her.

"Are you sure you want to hang out with me? I'm not exactly grade A material. I mean, I can't even browse a store aisle properly."

"It's okay, it was an accident, but if you don't want to, it's fine, we can just go our separate ways."


I turned to walk away when she didn't respond, but all of a sudden Desiree tapped my arm, and got this pleading, anxious look on her face, clasping her hands together.

"No, no! I do want to get coffee with you, I just, I didn't know if you wanted to get some with me."

"I asked, didn't I?"

"Yes, but I do this all the time, I doubt other people's intentions, especially after I've run into them with my butt."

"Do you make a habit of running into people that way?"

"Well, no- I- um."

"Relax, it's just a joke. I was trying to lighten the mood."


Desiree's face lost its nervousness and the panic in her eyes left, while her mouth slowly turned into a smile instead of the frown she was sporting earlier.

"Oh! Okay, sure. I would love to get some coffee with you."

Desiree and I made our way to the coffee counter and were greeted by the cute blonde barista, who was very peppy. I guess it made sense since she worked around caffeine all day, she was probably able to drink a lot of it. I ordered a blended drink, while Desiree got a hot mocha.


The barista got our drinks ready and I paid, after which Desiree and I headed over to the nearest couch, which was behind us, and in front of a Big Bang Theory tv show poster. We set our drinks on the table in front of us, and smiled at each other. I looked up at the neon sign that was hanging on the wall in front of a giant poster of a city skyline that I really enjoyed. I liked pictures of large cities because they were so vibrant and alive. Appreciating my surroundings was something I had been trying to take advantage of since I had been released from the self-loathing prison I had created with the thoughts in my head.

"Thank you for-"

"So, how are-"

Desiree and I spoke at the exact same time, which caused both of us to laugh. At this point, so much awkwardness had transpired between us that it was becoming funny the more it happened. I was happy that Desiree didn't panic from it like she had earlier. As we sat on the couch together, with her laughing, I noticed that she did have a rather nice smile, on the rare occasion that she did smile. Earlier when I had talked to her, both on this day, and the day I saved her from Reese, I felt like she was either panicked and anxious, or sad and upset. By observing her, I got some insight into what it might have been like for others to talk to me back when I rarely smiled.


"Ladies first."

"Thank you for the coffee. I actually haven't, um, a guy hasn't bought me anything in a long time. I think the last person who did was sometime in high school."

"You're welcome. I don't date much either. Guess we have that in common. So, how was your day?"

"Oh, the usual, I had class, and I come here to hang out when I don't feel like going back home."

"I see. This is a fun place to be, isn't it? I get inspired by all the bright colors and artwork showcased in the comic books."


Desiree shifted in her seat, leaning forward to sip some of her mocha, and then coming back to look at me. She was a lot more calm now than the bumbling mess she had just been when she ran into me in the aisle. I wondered what was causing her nervousness earlier, but I guessed it was just the inappropriateness of the situation, and her feeling like she had embarrassed herself so immensely.

"I like art too. I enjoy creating something, like a sculpture, and then painting it with spray paint."

"Oh, that's cool. I usually use a paint and paintbrush on a canvas. Otherwise, pen or pencil in a sketchbook works too when I'm just doodling and trying to get ideas."

"Yeah, I know. Spray paint has been given a bad connotation, like it's the medium of gang-bangers who deface and vandalize things. I don't know why I like it, I just do. Plus it's not like I am trying to paint graffiti on buildings."


I looked at Desiree, unsure why she had just gotten so defensive. Had I said something to make her think I hated spray paint? Her voice had taken on a tone of slight irritation, as if she had often needed to argue her case for what she liked to do. I supposed maybe it had something to do with her getting bullied constantly, which she had revealed to me the first time we met. She was definitely an interesting girl, and I could tell she wasn't trying to be strange, or actually yell at me. I must have been looking at her too long without responding because the next thing I knew, Desiree was apologizing profusely again.

"Ugh, I'm so sorry, Armand, I didn't mean to snap at you about spray paint. It's just that I get lots of flak for enjoying it, and I've been called a lot of names for liking it, so I feel like I have to justify my love of it constantly. Gah, how many times have I put my foot in my mouth today? I hate being like this, I'm just so, so awkward, I'm such an awkward person, I just-"

I put my hand on Desiree's arm to try to comfort her somewhat because I sensed that she was starting to ramble from nervousness. Desiree responded by trailing off and smiling at me.


"Desiree... it's okay. I wasn't judging your love of spray paint, and I'm sorry other people have. I was just curious why you were so defensive about it. My lack of response was because I was trying to figure out if anything I had said could be interpreted as such."

"Oh. Well. Thank you, for not judging me."

"You're welcome. I used to get that a lot from my mother, so I know how small it can make a person feel. I'd never want to do that to anyone else."

"I see. I'm sorry that happened to you. Parents are supposed to love you unconditionally, but they don't always do, do they?"

Desiree got a far away look in her eyes when she mentioned parents, and I wondered if she had experienced something similar to what I had. Then I thought no one could possibly be as unlucky as I had been when it came to having a shitty mother. I grit my teeth and picked up my drink, biting the straw as I did, irritated from the memories.

"No. They really don't."


A cell phone went off, causing Desiree to jump from the vibration plus the sound, since it was her cell phone. She made no motion to check it, so I thought I would give her the go-ahead to look at it. She wasn't obligated to continue hanging out with me, for my attempt to patch things up by buying her coffee was already done. Before I could tell her anything, however, her phone beeped again, twice in a row.

"Um, Desiree, you can check your phone, I won't think it's rude or whatever. Besides, whoever it is really seems to want to get a hold of you."

"I know... I just, I don't want to leave yet, and I know who's on the other end of-"


Desiree's phone rang this time, rather than just making a text message sound, which I guessed was what it was doing earlier, and she became exasperated with it as she picked up the phone and walked over to a corner to talk. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but she seemed very put off by whomever she was talking to. She kept clenching her fist, and I felt bad for her, wondering if it was a pesky ex-boyfriend who didn't get the hint, or an equally clingy female that Desiree might not necessarily want to grace with her company. I tried my best not to eavesdrop on her conversation since she was already on edge, but I couldn't help noticing her body language. Her shoulders slumped, she sighed heavily, and she hung her head as she spoke, finally hanging up. Thinking of what she had said before she got up to talk on the phone, I had a feeling that Desiree was going to be heading out soon. My guess was correct when she came over and grabbed her coffee with a grim expression on her face.


"Armand? I am so sorry, but I have to cut our hang out time short. I will see you around campus. Maybe next time we can meet under less awkward circumstances."

"Do you want me to walk with-"

"No, I really should go. I'm sorry."

I let Desiree walk away since she was obviously in a hurry, but I was really curious who was on the other end of the line that could have made her look so sad and... scared?


No. of Echoes

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Rated: R. Echoes of Eternity is a chronological story best read from Chapter One. It will deal with topics of all kinds, including some that are uncomfortable.

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