Patrick Eight: Learning Lessons

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is definitely not easy, Katya!"

Katya and I had gone to the beach together with some surfboards. She had been wanting to teach me how to surf, and I had finally decided to take a day off from practicing my new trick. We were hanging out in the shallow end, a few feet from the shore, and I was trying to balance on the surfboard. It was surprisingly more difficult than it looked, and there was barely a ripple in the ocean. I kept feeling like I was going to fall as the water moved underneath the board. It probably didn't help that I'd never done anything like this before, and my balance wasn't used to it.

Katya crouched near me and held the top of the surfboard, steadying it. She looked up at me with her pretty blue eyes and smiled.

"Patrick? Look at me. Stop thinking that you're going to fall. Bend your knees, and if you sway, hold your arms out to balance yourself. The water will keep the board afloat."

I nodded at Katya and tried to follow her instructions. Once she saw that I had regained some of my balance and had gotten my bearings back, she gave the board a little push and I went further out into the water. The ripples started getting a little rougher, even though from shore they didn't look that large. Katya got on her board and paddled out to where I was, then stood up effortlessly.

"How are you doing?"

"Not bad. This is pretty fun."

"Staying low will help the wind not catch you and tip you over."

I did as Katya said and raised my arms out from my sides when I felt like I was going to fall and bent my knees. We surfed out a a bit further, and I was starting to get a little more comfortable. I looked over at Katya, and admired her skimpy bikini. My mind went in the gutter when she surfed in front of me and I checked out her ass. I was too distracted by it apparently because that's when I fell. Katya came over to me and helped me back on the board. We ended up heading back to shore after that, and I paddled my way back. We took our boards out of the water and I grabbed Katya around the waist, looking down at her adorable face. She closed her eyes and puckered her lips at me, so I gave her a kiss.

"What do you want to do now, sexy?"

Katya blushed when I swooned over her. Even though we had been going out for two months now, she still wasn't used to me complimenting her. She said that the only person who was really nice to her was her father, and that Ephemera was her estranged sister, whom she had always had a strained relationship with. We decided to head up to the clubhouse on the beach and grab something to eat before going back to my house. I made us some hot dogs, while Katya sat on the couch next to the grill.

"So how did I do for being a first time surfer?"

"You did pretty well, actually. You take instruction well and you're great at applying what you've learned to the situation."

I saw Katya out of my peripheral vision and she was sitting on the couch with a dreamy look in her eyes. I wondered if she was checking me out. After we ate the hot dogs, we decided to go back and sit on the couch. I put my arm around her, and she opened her eyes wide as if she wasn't expecting it.

"Oh! Patrick."

"What's going on, Katya? We've been dating for two months now. Surely you'd be used to me hugging you, right?"

"Yeah, I just... you've never asked me to be exclusive, and I guess I'm nervous."

"All right, well, Katya, will you be mine? I'm not seeing anyone else, and I really like you."

Katya smiled and relaxed her small frame, resting her head against my shoulder. I wondered why she was so nervous, but I figured it was just because she was shy, as she'd told me many times before. I hoped she knew that I wouldn't deliberately hurt her.

"Patrick? The first time we went out, you said you wanted to be cautious about having a relationship. Why is that? Did someone break your heart?"

"No, my aunt and uncle had a tumultuous marriage and I didn't want to be like that."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. Sometimes I wondered why they even got married. From the outside, it didn't seem like they were ever really in love."

"I want a love like your parents' love. I noticed the way your parents look at each other, the day we went to eat dinner with them."

"I'd like that too."

Katya looked up at me, and I couldn't stop thinking how much I loved her eyes. They were so big and blue, and perfect for her adorable face. I had always imagined myself being involved with someone who was a supermodel or actress, just because of what I did for a living, but as I looked at Katya, I found that she was sexy in her own way. She might not have been as glamorous as the girls I'd pictured myself with, but somehow it didn't matter. I thought in my mind that maybe this was what it felt like to fall in love. I moved my face closer to hers and she leaned in, allowing me to kiss her. I peppered her lips softly with mine, and started sucking on her bottom lip, running my tongue along it. Katya sighed, and I put my tongue gently in her mouth. For all the times we'd kissed, it had always been a closed mouth kiss. I was starting to think she didn't like me that much, but her statement just now about wanting a love and then wanting me to tell her she was my girlfriend made me feel pretty confident.

"NO!"

Katya pushed on my forehead and gave me a dirty look. I grimaced, unsure of why she was being so standoffish after what I thought was a confession of feeling comfortable with me.

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted to kiss me."

"I don't want to kiss like... that. It's too fast. We've only been going out two months."

"But I'm sure I want to date you, I'm not kissing anyone else, I promise."

"That's not the point, Patrick. I don't want to take that step yet."

As I looked at Katya, I felt sad that I had somehow broken her trust. I wasn't even sure what had gone wrong. I guess it was possible she felt like I might have been trying to force myself on her, so I asked her and she said no, she knew I wasn't doing that. Why was she thinking that a French kiss equaled automatic jumping into bed?

"What are you talking about? It's just a kiss!"

"No, it's not. That... kind of kissing leads to sex, and I'm not ready for sex."

I didn't know what to say to her, so I simply hung my head as Katya looked away from me, feeling defeated. So far this relationship stuff was proving to be harder than I thought it would be. Maybe I was reading Katya wrong, and she didn't like me as much as I thought. I tried to think about the sweet things she had said to me earlier, but then I started second guessing myself, she had just said she wanted a love like my parents' love, not that she wanted that love with me.

I kept my arm around her shoulder and looked down at the ground, resting my other hand on my thigh. Katya remained still and silent. I was glad she wasn't pushing me away anymore, but I knew this date was over. I was angry, not so much at Katya, since I knew she had that bad experience, but at myself, for trying to take too much from her. I was also angry that I didn't know what to do right now.

"Patrick, I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

Katya and I went our separate ways, without really talking about anything that had happened. I knew I wanted to cool down some before trying to talk to her again. I guessed that she probably needed time as well. I made a mental note that if I still wanted to date her, I should be more patient. I wasn't really sure how much time she would need to stop being so skittish, or if she would even get to that point. Maybe she wasn't the girl for me. I really didn't know. I went to the one person I knew who could help me sort out my dilemma, my dad.

I knocked on the door and Dad invited me in to sit on the couch with him.

"You remodeled the house, it looks nice."

"Thanks. How are you?"

"I had a date with Katya, but it ended wierdly. She taught me how to surf and everything was going great, but then she got mad when I tried to French kiss her. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, since she has no problem kissing me. It's always been closed mouth though, so I don't know. I guess I have no idea what that means, but I feel like she doesn't like me or something."

Dad got a contemplative look on his face as I was describing what had happened with Katya, like he was deep in thought.

"Hmm... did you stop when she told you to?"

"Well, she pushed me on my forehead, and said no, after which yes, I did stop. I didn't try to kiss her anymore, but then I just didn't know what to do. I got frustrated, so we just ended the date."

"Did she explain why she didn't want you to kiss her? Like she doesn't want to be serious with you? If that's the case, then maybe you should just end things with her."

"Well, that's why I'm really confused. She wanted me to say we were an exclusive couple, which I did, cause realistically, we are, even if I hadn't said it yet to her. She said French kissing always leads to sex, and she didn't want sex. I feel like she was giving me mixed signals, and I didn't know what to do."

"I think you did the correct thing by stopping when she asked you to. Everyone likes to be respected, and not pushing when it comes to the physical parts of a relationship gains you brownie points in a girl's eyes. I don't blame you one bit for being frustrated and angry about it, confused even. Women can be complicated, and it might seem like she doesn't like you, but there's probably an underlying reason she's afraid of French kissing."

Hmm... well I knew that since Katya had been taken advantage of in high school, that's probably why she was afraid of sex, but that's not what I was trying to do, I had just wanted to make out with my girlfriend a little bit. Maybe this was all just a big misunderstanding. I hoped that she believed me that day I told her I would never force myself on her because it was true, I would never think of doing that to anyone. I supposed I could see how she might have thought I wanted sex from her, after all, I am a guy, and I think about it a lot. Ever since I'd started going out with Katya, I had been going through a bit of a dry spell, which was the cause of my frustration. Talking to Dad had made me feel so much better, and I knew I could always count on him.

"Were you ever unsure whether Mom liked you or not?"

"Yeah, when we first started going out. Your mom wasn't the relationship type, so I wondered if she would even want to be serious with me."

"How did you guys get to the point you are now?"

"Honesty. We talk about everything. It turns out your mom also wondered if I would ever be serious with her, since I wasn't the relationship type either. I'd never have gotten her if I hadn't been brave and asked her about it, point blank. Not to change the subject, but do you want some dessert? I have some key lime pie in the kitchen. We can keep talking in there, if you'd like."

I followed Dad into the kitchen and sat at the counter, while he got the pie out of the refrigerator.

"Patrick, are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm just thinking. I've never done this relationship thing before, and I don't know what I want. I don't know if she broke up with me since we didn't really plan another date, and everything was just so awkward. I think it's part of her personality, though, the first time I went out with her, she asked me a wierd question, so I've kind of gotten used to that about her, but feeling like I'm in limbo is just irritating."

Dad looked at me with his intense light green eyes. I loved talking to him because I always felt like he was really listening to me, and I knew he cared a lot.

"Well, my advice to you about that is to wait a day or two, then go to Katya and apologize. Flowers would be a good thing too, but the main thing is to just be genuine. If you still want to go out with her, she needs to know you care enough about her to be humble. Don't rehash the incident as far as playing the blame game, both of you had a part in the misunderstanding, but don't point it out to her, or she'll feel like you're accusing her and that's not going to go well for you."

"How do I talk about it to her, and clear the air?"

"Listen to what she says. I guarantee you when you go over and just simply apologize to her, she'll appreciate it. After that, she'll feel more comfortable with you, and if she still likes you, she'll probably tell you what was bothering her. Just support what she says, and you guys will be fine."

"I hope you're right, Dad. Everything you said makes complete sense, but Katya can be out of the ordinary sometimes."

"Of course, remember that I'm generalizing, Patrick. Everyone's different, but the simple principles of respect and humility are appreciated by most people."

It was getting late, so I gave Dad a hug and thanked him for giving me all the advice he did. I was still frustrated, but I was no longer confused. I rolled my window down, and felt the cool Silicon Shores breeze blow into the car. I calmed down a lot, admiring the palm trees passing as I drove by them. Driving always made me feel better, and there was something about it that always made me feel peaceful. This was the perfect ending to a not so perfect day.

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Patrick Seven: Unpleasant Memories

Guest Starring: Alexander Hunt by MrsOogie Boogie

---

Tonight was one of the best nights of my life. I was backstage in my dressing room with Emmanuel and Ephemera, and I was ecstatic because I had just successfully performed one of my best shows so far. Everything was perfect, the audience responded to my illusions positively, and my parents and grandpa showed up to watch, as well as Katya. For the first time in four years since I had started performing in the magic industry, I felt like I was making progress in my career.



Working with Ephemera was a pleasant surprise. She was charming, elegant, and composed. Her motions were fluid and she graced the stage with a presence that was very entertaining for the audience. She and I interacted with a chemistry that wasn't sexual, yet still very cohesive and appealing. It felt effortless, like I had known her for years instead of just a week. The initial bad feeling I had in my gut when I first met her had all but dissipated, and I was glad I had given her a chance. I felt lucky to have such a great assistant when I was just starting out. The last thing I needed was for any part of my show to be unimpressive, as this show was also an audition of sorts. The theater director had decided tonight if he was going to give us a regular gig, and since everything went so well, we got a recurring spot on the theater's calendar for Thursday nights.

We changed into our street clothes and headed out into the foyer. Emmanuel and Ephemera each had an arm around me, Emmanuel's around my waist, while Ephemera's arm was around my neck. As we approached the foyer, we saw my family and Katya standing by the fountain, chatting with each other. Mom and Dad had their arms around each other, which I found endearing. For the twenty years they had been together, they were still just as in love as the day they met. My thoughts went to Katya, who was standing a little bit off to the side, and I wondered if her and I would ever get to the point that my parents are.

---

I stood quietly by the staircase, with my hands clasped in front of me when I saw Patrick come out with Emmanuel and... Ephemera? Could it be? I hadn't seen Ephemera since we were teenagers and she stormed out of our dad's house, saying she was going to move far away from Silicon Shores because she hated our family. When had she come back to town? Figures she wouldn't have called me to let me know anything about her life, it's not like she acted like she ever cared about me. I don't know why I was surprised that Ephemera had come back without telling me, but perhaps I was just upset that she hadn't changed for the better in all the time that had passed between us.




I watched Patrick interact with his family, first with his mom, then his dad, and lastly his grandfather. What I wouldn't give to have a family support system as strong as Patrick's. After my mother developed a drinking problem, my father and her eventually divorced, and he gained full custody of me, Ephemera, and our oldest sister, Sandra. No one was happy about the new living situations but me. I loved my father, and was mad at my mother for ruining our family. My sisters blamed our father for the divorce, and they picked on me for siding with him. Ephemera even went so far as to change her surname from Monroe, our father's name, to Wallace, our mother's maiden name.



Patrick soon finished exchanging pleasantries, and came over to me, gently taking my hand in his and introducing me to everyone, including Ephemera. We pretended that we didn't know each other as we shook hands. As I looked into her eyes, a slew of unfortunate memories bombarded me. I remembered how Ephemera had been the one to start the rumor about me being a whore after my high school boyfriend, Tyler, had taken advantage of me at the motel. Instead of being a good older sister, she threw me under the bus. I don't know what I expected, since we had never gotten along even as children, but I guess I had a small shred of hope that she'd have some love for her little sister. I was wrong.



I tried to get comfortable in Patrick's car, but the initial shock of me seeing Ephemera again, so close to home, was making me queasy, and causing my heart to race. I took some deep breaths like my therapist suggested I do when bad memories threatened to overwhelm me, which helped somewhat. I felt Patrick glance over at me, and I knew with how perceptive he was, that he would soon ask me what was wrong. I decided I would play my shy card when he did ask.

"Katya, is something wrong?"



Bingo. There it was. I liked that he was so intuitive, and I thought about how I would continue to like that fact about him if he and I became a couple. He would treat me right.

"I'm just really terrible at meeting tons of people at once. I'm sorry, I'm a little overwhelmed. I love your family, though, they are so nice, and I love how they support you."

"Does your family not support you?"



"Not particularly. I mean, my dad does, but my parents are divorced, and my mom is an alcoholic who isn't really all there. I haven't talked to her in years. I have two sisters, but I don't really want to talk about them right now."

"Okay, I'm sorry."

Patrick pulled into the parking spot next to his dad's car, and got out, coming around to the other side and opening my door for me. After he helped me out of the car, I wanted to get inside so as not to keep everyone waiting, so I started walking towards the restaurant, but Patrick came up behind me, turned me around, and kissed me.

I thoroughly enjoyed the gesture of affection he was giving me, and I sensed that he was trying to make me feel better. My hands went up around his waist and I relaxed instantly as the warmth of Patrick's body comforted me. I was vaguely aware of my heart racing again, but this time it was from excitement.

"Thank you, Patrick. I feel much better now."

We walked arm in arm into the front foyer of the restaurant, where everyone was waiting. I looked over at Maximus and Soleil, watching them as they sat really close together, Max's arm around Soleil, while she was smiling happily at him with her hand on his thigh. I found myself becoming a little star struck when the realization hit me that I was going to be eating dinner with Maximus and Soleil, two of the most famous people in the world. They were always in the tabloids, as was Patrick. I always found myself admiring how gorgeous Soleil was, even at the age of 39. She was as flawless in person as she was in the magazines. Maximus was incredibly handsome, and I could see where Patrick had inherited his attractiveness. I had seen some of Max's movies, and he was really good at what he did.

The hostess seated us at our table, and I sat next to Patrick, across from his parents, while Ephemera hung out with Emmanuel and Alex. I was very relieved that Ephemera was pretending she didn't know me. I would have rather had it that way than have her tormenting me. I knew that she was most likely not nearly as uncomfortable as I was when I first saw her. She probably thought it was great that I was here so she could make fun of me. Maximus ordered champagne for the table and made a toast for Patrick, congratulating him for his first big success. After that, we ordered our food and got to know each other better.

I thoroughly enjoyed chatting with Max and Soleil because they were really fun to talk to, and down to earth, just like Patrick. Halfway through my meal, I excused myself to go freshen up. I was not pleased when I opened the bathroom stall to see that Ephemera had come in after me. She was standing arrogantly by the wall, leg propped up against it, with one hand on her hip, and a smug expression on her face. I knew that Ephemera wouldn't miss out on a chance to torment me, and that she had chosen to follow me into the bathroom on purpose, but not because she had to use it.

"Hey, little sis. Still wearing your hair like a five year old, I see. I thought you'd have grown out of that already. Although, looking at your lack of a figure, you haven't developed at all. Your chest is still as flat as those fucking surfboards you are married to."

I ignored Ephemera and washed my hands, then walked over to the paper towel dispenser to dry my hands, but she blocked my path.

"What's wrong? Not happy to see me?"

"Should I be?"

"I'm your sister. Family is everything, don't you remember saying that when I left? Still mad at me cause of your daddy issues?"

I tried to ignore the mocking, sarcastic tone Ephemera's voice took on when she repeated what I had said that day she left. I couldn't understand why Ephemera had to be so cruel to our dad. It was true he was stricter on us after Mom left, but I think he only did that because he cared. Ephemera and Sandra were never able to see why Dad did what he did.

"No. I just didn't expect to see you again after all this time. Why are you back, anyway?"

"Easy. I got sick of where I was."

"Hmph. I don't believe that. It's probably more like you ran out of money, so you need to come beg Daddy for it."

"Bitch. I have a job as Patrick's assistant, in case you hadn't noticed. I don't need to mooch off Dad."

I pushed Ephemera out of my way to get to the paper towel dispenser even though my hands were mostly dry already from her stalling me. All I wanted was to get away from her, back into the eyes of everyone else, where I hoped she would continue to pretend she didn't know me.

"Ignoring me now, whore?"

No. Not that again. Ever since Ephemera had started that rumor in our high school, it was a trigger word for me. I felt the tears well up in my eyes as memories of that night with Tyler struggled to invade my thoughts. Ephemera laughed at me and then I heard the door shut behind me, signaling her departure. I grabbed more paper towels as I started to cry, wetting them and wiping my eyes. The last thing I needed was for them to get puffy and red. I knew for sure Patrick would ask me what was wrong and I didn't want to cause a scene in the restaurant. Why? Why did Ephemera always have to do this to me? She had been gone, and I was doing well, then she returns and treats me like shit, as if she had never left. It was now that I wished I wore makeup, so I could cover up red spots when I started crying. I finally had dabbed enough around my eyes to make myself look presentable again, and went back out to the gathering.

As I made my way back, my eyes kept darting to Ephemera, who was sitting at the table with her hands on her hips like she owned the world or something. I tried to compose myself and not let my irritation show through on my face or mannerisms. This night was about Patrick, and I was going to try my damnedest to show my support for him to the best of my ability, no matter how shitty I felt.

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